April pretty much r00lz

People are fuckin crazy. And they weird me out.

We had kiras b-day party today. It was fun. Kira was so cute in her little princess outfit.

I'll have pics on my myspace.

Just so u all know.

I havnt had a shower since last year...




Happy new yearrrrr!

Party at harveys tonight.

5 bucks to get in.

It better be good for that much.

Another homie died last week.

Shits whack. A good homie too.

Someone who could always make u laugh...


Rest in peace lil' rich.

We all love u.


-Apes

and sometimes i think maybe the baby's getting ready to get here. and then it just like stops and im like omg whadda teaseeeeee haha.


i just want it over with already i set up her crip and her bedding today. its super cute and im all emotional and i wanted to cry when john turned on the little mobile abover her crib haha.

i washed all the clothes i think she'll be wearing today, and tuesday were renting a uhaul and putting all our stuff in the new house, monday i have a written test hopefully i can get a behind the wheel this week cause i want to before the baby gets here, plus i have to...court odered. haha.

what else is new?

hmmm, im so exciteddddddd my baby girls gonna be hereeeeeeeee.

to bad my dad cant be here for it : [


weenie.


haha its been wayyy over a year since i updated this shit... thats funny i forgot i had one.



♥ April Marie

so yeah. me and my boyfriend just bought a computer. so yeah im pretty happy.


soooo im gonna officially be a mom pretty soon im already 5 and a half months pregooooo.


haha


my life is so different from the party life i used to live now im a part time house wife part time working women haha.


eh. i cant wait for my baby to be born cause its gonnna pretty much be the cutest baby ever haha.


quarter white, quarter japanase/portagues, and half CAMBODIAN! hahaha yeah my boyfriend is cambodian, like super cambodian too haha he speaks cambodian and everthing.

♥ April Marie

just found out my best friend Harvey has been stealin shit from me...


fuck dude.

im so pissed.

i hella trusted him too.

i let him live in my house.eat my familys food. i bought him food drove him around.


and he steals over two bills from me not including that he took my brand new board thrashed it snapped it and gave away the trucks...


"i'll get you a new one!"

pfft.


dont trust anyone.

not even Your BEST FRIEND.



♥ April Marie

The Void within me,
That will never be filled,
Is my hunger to be happy,
Since life has been killed,
I feel aimless in living,
When I know what I want,
I keep on giving,
And still recieve the taunt,
Isn't anything real?
And where is my path?
What is the deal,
With dealing with the wrath,
Brickwall after brickwall,
An eternity in my way,
And they all make me fall,
What am I to say?
I pick myself up,
And motivate myself to go,
I'm your half emtpy cup,
Thats what I have to show.


By April Marie Shimabukuro



so yeah...


i wrote that yesturday.

thats how i feel lately.


♥ April Marie

i've been fucking up badd lately.


like omg.

i dont go to school im late to work.

i blew my whole check on vodka and weed...

damn...

i have drunk,stoned, and gakked out people passed out on my floor everynight...

fuck...

i dont know what to do.


&herats; April marie

haha it was like 3 in the morning and me and harv had just come back from dropping Juan off at home. and we were sooooooo fucking stoned!!!

and i was doing something in the kitchen and i went in my dads room to say something to my mom and she was like

"are you stoned?"

and i just giggled and said "yeahhhh"


haha and i thought she was just gonna laugh and be like "aprilll you need to stop doing that!"

instead she says "do you have anymore? i cant sleep..."

haha so me and harv packed a bowl and blazed with my mom in my room. she talks alot though... haha but it was hella cool!!


Marky, Juan and Adri...

you fuckers missed out.


haha



♥ April Marie

In the last hug,
In the last kiss,
I'd do anything to savor that bliss,
In your embrace,
In your eyes,
I look into your face,
Searching for no lies,
Every gleeful laugh,
And every single smile,
I know it doesnt matter, 1 million or 1 mile,
The happiness I feel and felt,
I'll never let it go,
Such as memories like the belt,
That we can only know,
Funny moments and serious,
I'll keep them close to me,
Doing things possibly deleterious,
And careless if it be,
I'm never letting go,
Please say neither will you,
Even if time may be slow,
I know we'll get through.

It's Pathatic how lost I feel,
Now that he has gone,
I sit around unknowing how to deal,
Remembering everything that was fun,
I think about him all the time,
Sometimes it makes me cry,
Though he never really was mine,
Saying I didn't care would really be a lie,
I miss his arms around me in our sleep,
And how he would kiss and hold me after a nightmare,
I never thought it would get this deep,
I curse my weak heart, It's really not fair,
I remember his scent,
And how it was always the best,
He'll never know how much he meant,
cause it's more than the rest,
I'll wait until again we meet,
I dont care to have another,
Because my heart would say its cheat.



♥ April Marie

Taken a picture completely naked? haha yesssssss

Made out with someone on your top 8? yes

Danced in front of your mirror naked? haha definatly

Told a lie? yes

Ever had a one night stand? haha yuppp

Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? yeah

Been arrested? yeah

Made out with someone of the same sex? yeah

Seen someone die? no and thank god.

Kissed a picture?haha yeahhh. ahh sounds so dumb

Slept in until 5pm? yuppppppp

Had sex at work (on the clock)? haha fuck that would be so sic.

Fallen asleep at work/school? nope

Held a snake? yes

Ran a red light? haha yesss all stoned and shit

Been suspended from school? haha yes sirrrrr

Totaled your car in an accident? haha no thank god.

Pole danced? yuppppp

Been fired from a job? yupppp

Sang karaoke? haha at a bar all drunk i sang alanis morrisette haha fuckk good motha fuggin times fersherrr

Done something/someone you told yourself you wouldn't? yes sirr

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? haha probably

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? never been to the snow

Kissed in the rain? that is literally my fantasy

Sang in the shower? fer fuggin sherrrrrrrr

Gave your private parts a nickname? haha siiiii

Ever gone to school/work without underwear? haha no.

Sat on a roof top? yes sirrr

Played chicken? fuck yesss

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? i jumped in in like junior high

Broken a bone? yeah

Mooned/flashed someone? haha you know it baby!!!

Had sex with your socks on? HAHA FUCK NO thats like an unwritten no no lawww

Shaved your head? hellz naw

Sleep naked? yesss it feels wierd i'd rather be in panties

Blacked out from drinking? haha yeahhhhhhh

Played a prank on someone? yeah

Had a gym membership? yes

Felt like killing someone? stupid beezyssssssss

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? haha yeah...fuck it. im blunt get over it.

Cried over someone you were in love with?...yeah =/

Had sex more than 10 times in one day? haha i wish...marky cant handle it haha.

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? haha what the fuck is that?

Been in a band? i wish.

Subscribed to Maxim? naw i jsut read Marky's uncles haha

Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol? nope

Shot a gun? a pelot gun... haha i think a bb gone once when i was little.

Shot a bow and arrow? no but that would be sic i would feel all savage n shit.

Played strip poker? i cant even play regular poker haha

Tripped on mushrooms? no but i hella want to, and acid to. lets do it. who's down?

Donated Blood? nope. i wanted to but i was too lazy.

Video taped yourself having sex? another fantasy.

Eaten alligator meat? gross.VEGAN

Ever jump out of an airplane? hoping too.

Have you been to more than 10 countries? never left cali.

Been caught having sex in your car? nope.

Mark left yesurday...

its wierd.

i couldnt stop thinking about him.I dont know what to do without him as pathetic as it sounds.

i spent all my time with him.

we slept together hung out together went on mish's together, smoked together got drunk together. nothing was without him. and harv too.

yesturday i tried not to think about him so i got on myspace...he's number one on my top eight.

so i decided to listen to music.

everything i listened to reminded me of him..

Spice girls-Too Much

usher ft alicia keys- my boo

Tila Tequila- Summer nightfalls.


that shit was driving me insaneeee.

so i decide i would sleep and not think about him. so laid my head down onto my pillow and i opened my eyes and it was a custom made pillow case for him so it said mark right in front of my eyes.


i didnt knwo what to do so i sat up held the pillow, burried my face into and sobbed like a little baby.

then i decided to get a hold of myself and get dressed and take a shower.

as i was going through the clean laundry that i hadnt put away i found marks shirts and underwear...

i still havnt touched those clothes..

im so lost.

i dont know what to do anymore.


♥ April Marie


I miss my marky.

This is basically my life right now. and i wouldnt give it up for the world.


♥ April Marie

Lately i've been smokeing like 3 to 5 times a dayyyyyyy.


hahaha fuck it.


i had to call in sick to work yesturday cause i had to bail my dad outta jail. >=[



just been fuckin chillin.

i went to santa cruz today with Rae, Robert, Marky, Harv, Juan, Val, Magdo, and Jackie, that was pretty sic.


we went to down town blazed.

went to taqeria vallarta.

bombbbbbbbb.

but yeah. i drove from santa cruz to gilroy just blazinnnnnnn. so fuckin stoned driving home around that mountain.
fuckin insaneeeeeeeeee.



aight im outta.


♥ April Marie

It Never seems to come out right,
when emotion is strong,
its kept bottled tight,
and for it to flow, it takes so long,
I always try to portray,
everything i feel thats new,
but everything i try to say,
doesnt come out right, and i dont know what to do,
you look at me and i melt,
you hold my hand, my heart skips a beat,
and everything i feel and felt,
makes me need to take a seat,
everytime i hear your voice,
it puts a smile on my face,
and to think if we hadnt made the choice,
we'd still be in the chase.


♥ April Marie

wake up next to the best guy ever...

get a kiss good bye before work.

then come home to him having cleaned your room.a huge " i missed you", a fat kiss and long hug...


fuck.


this relationship is the best by far.


April Marie

Sometimes im just so overwhelmed with life and emotion, i dont even know where its coming from you know?

i got a job at the Vanity Fair Outlet. but eh. i know im going to hate it. my dad got only part of the part he needs for my car. and he doesnt even know when he can get it.

no car, new job, sucky life.

bad combination. ferreal.

idk. i've just been thinking lately how much i need to just start over somewhere that i dont know anyone at all, and no one knows me or anyone i know.

fuck and lately it feels like i have this pain in my gut that just wont go away, kind of like when you did something you shouldnt have and you regret it, or when you go on a roller coaster, kind of a combination of both, but its the most horrible feeling ever.

so i get high basically everyday, drink probably 2-4 times a week[not enough to get drunk].I have no money, i've borrowed from my parents, its the worst thing i could do. i hate getting money from them cause then they make me feel like i cant fend for myself when infact its just i had a shitty ass job that cut my hours and gave me shitty pay, and now they dont give me hours at all which is why i had to get this new job.

fuck.life is pretty sucky right now. its only good sometimes.

life can fuck off.